Oniblog

Dragon Age 2 thoughts and mini review

2011-11-18T19:09:00.001-05:00

Finished Dragon Age 2, meaning it's time for a blog entry!Of course, with spoilers (for both Origins and 2). No DLCs were played for either game.

Recap Dragon Age Origins
In my game of Origins, I finished with a 'friendly' (since you had too much to lose being evil) Elven Grey Warden Mage. Anora is queen, Morrigan is loose with the big L's child, and the Circle is standing tall and free. Leliana is by the Warden's side as a hardened assassin lover. Oh my ;).

The Grey Warden, Dragon Age Origins

Dragon Age 2
So, on to Dragon Age 2. I swore to play as a Blood Mage when I read I can be one. I tried to also play as an evil bitch too but I can never seem to stay in character. So like myself, sarcastic and friendly I became.

I'm guessing in chapter 1 this gal was supposedly 16 or something in the writer's mind.

Indeed.

With my non-teen faced teen, I set off on my bloody magical adventure. I met Merril right away and found her rather creepy and frightening (isn't she similar to Sandal in away? In a good way). On the other end, I found Isabela highly amusing so I wavered between Isabela and Merril for romance, but in the end I chose Merril for story purposes. A pair of "nice" but crazy blood mages in the Templar/Circle story was just too interesting to pass by.

Painted fingernails, courtesy of Merril. Or maybe it's all the blood magic.

Merril defending her and the Champion's relationship to Anders.

...and I love their relationship!

One aspect of Dragon Age 2 that I really enjoyed was that they continuously referred to the Warden's, the Champion's, and Merril's use of magic throughout the story, during both the main and secondary quests. Constantly being reminded of the evils of magic and the plight of mages helped me get into the story and care about my own characters more. I guess that's why they also made a sibling, so you can care about the other side too (for me, the Templars). I remember in Origins I didn't really care too much what happened to Ferelden since I felt too detached, but I was fascinated with the whole story about magic and demons, the fade, and the drug taking maniacal Templars. Are mages something that needs to be systematically controlled? What would freedom bring? In Dragon Age 2, Fenris' story about the Tevinter Imperium's slavery was thought provoking, and Orsino telling Meredith that the nobles should take power was something I couldn't agree with. I mean, nobles and mages in power? What a nightmare scenario. :)

Merril betrays the hero on a side-quest.

In Origins, everything between the characters sort of took place only within the camp or the character's specific quest. However in Dragon Age 2, the characters were better integrated in story, including the main character. Maybe the smaller scale helped, or Bioware just put more strength into that area, but it was loads of fun because of it.

Taking Isabela along is a must.

The battles were also more fast paced and the magic felt great. One issue... actually maybe the only issue I had with the game was with the spawning of enemies during combat. They literally suddenly appear on the map in big groups, more than once, without any way of knowing the spawning will occur. It sort of made tactics impossible so I dropped the difficulty to casual (my team balance was also terrible since I wanted to hear the banter with Isabela and Aveline, and also had Merril along all the time :)). I'm guessing Bioware tried to balance the difficulty without the massive enemy hordes found in Origins, so I think they're still tweaking and trying to find a good balance. I can only imagine how hard balancing is with so many possible combinations of characters and skills. I remember they did a similar spawning act in KoTOR's last dungeon which made me put on invincibility (since I was stuck in the dungeon and it was impossible to change tactics).

I loved Elthina. Smart, wonderful lady.

Team Champion!

I also wanted to mention that the transition screen artwork was beautiful, and sometimes I was sad the loading ended. And with that, let's end this with Merril's strangely bright armorish scandalish underwear. :)

Merril's fiery intimates.

My Game:

Didn't take Carver along
Romanced Isabela at first then went for Merril
Played as Blood Mage (terrible during the first two chapters, awesome in the 3rd chapter) with a bit of Force Mage
Isabela flew off with the book :(
Stayed neutral between the Mages and Templars as long as possible, and offered to take charge
When left with no choice I sided with the Mages
Kept Anders with me

Story: Good scale so there weren't too many places where your suspension of belief was interrupted.
Graphics: Colorful! A little too much sometimes. This is a very specific detail but I really enjoyed Ander's face, it had so much flavor and he really felt like a person.
Music: Great as always, and I especially liked Hawke's estate.
Gameplay: All about feeling good and having quick response.
Conclusion: I recommend this to people who want a good laugh and enjoy a charming game. I felt that the target was a young audience, but I think an older audience would enjoy this more.

Dragon Age 2: Beginning

2011-10-15T19:09:00.001-05:00

Finally began Dragon Age 2. At the character creation screen, I was so excited when I saw that I can make my Hawke old and battered looking. So I made her a 50-ish year old blood mage (well, hopefully a blood mage).

You too?

Two things:

1) Female Hawke sounds like... a teenager! A young one at that. And her mage clothes are so... haha, not mysterious or mage like. My character head now looks even more like an abomination on such a youthful body. ;)
2) Merrill is also blood mage. Meaning I might not be able to use her. I mean, two blood mages in a party? Oh my. Also in the dialogues with her, somehow I don't mention that I'm a mage. Kind of weird for her to go on and on about how she is a hunted mage, and I'm making sarcastic comments as though I have nothing to do with that world.

And wow, the battle system is so much more casual the Origins. I love it, a good balance of action and new/old fashioned RPG. :)The whole interface is like the new google interface too, haha. Nice, very nice.

The Tactician

2011-10-02T07:16:00.001-05:00

The Tactician forges the rivers of a battlefield as a conductor engineers the sound of a symphony.

detail

Last of the Alien

2011-09-23T04:10:00.001-05:00

*contains spoilers

Finally saw the last Alien film, Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Alien Resurrection (Alien 4) with Sigourney Weaver and Winona Ryder. I didn't know Joss Whedon wrote the screenplay (interesting..). Throughout the movie there was a child-like, animal-like inhuman quality in all the characters, with their bubbling energy encased by a strange sort of nihilistic smile (brought me back to the days when I enjoyed watching Whedon's Buffy the Vampire series), their long talon-like, intelligent arms indistinguishable between alien and human.

In a way all the characters made a sort of homogeneous pyramid with Ellen Ripley on top, without much uniqueness in character, though their actions differed from each other. That is except for Call, which was one of the best concepts in the movie. In Alien 2, Cameron brought the message to the viewer with a preachy "see, the robots are more human than humans" plot line which only came across as annoying. With an all too visible suspense built with the "will he or will he not betray us", the humans, it became a forced point of view where the director's ideas (bringing forth a us and them mentality which makes me think he is trying to convince himself rather than the viewers) are pushed down the viewer's throat, rather than letting some of us experience it through a movie. I felt that Call pulled off the message much better, in a more subtle way, even if the messages' lines were sometimes repeated too often. Her death came as a surprise, and I was even more surprised when we found out she was a robot. I was completely absorbed into the movie at that point. Ripley's carelessness (I like how they even described her as emotionally autistic, ha!) with almost a youthful vigor, and Call's little identity crisis (how adorable is that? So that is why they cast Ryder, I thought) made the movie much more enjoyable for a person like me.

Jean-Pierre Jeunet and his staff made a wonderful, unique mood throughout the movie. Everyone felt real (not realistic), like a living thing, including the Aliens. The scenes and characters looked and felt beautiful (especially the underwater scene), the colors and the way the people's faces were captured - you almost feel the love for people through the director's eyes. Everything felt warm and loving, yet accepting of death, and accepting of the fear of death. Even the gore shots felt beautiful and kind, as though - as an agnostic this is a strange feeling - as though a kindly god (masculine) is watching over everything.

The Underwater Scene

Okay, too many underwater scene captures! I couldn't resist!

Perhaps this otherworldly yet extremely 'local' feeling was captured because Ripley has finally finished her bouts of feminism and anxious feelings of motherhood, and came to accept what she is. She indeed did feel like something other than human.

I wonder if this subtle yet delicious mood was achieved because the director was not American. The US unfortunately has a culture that is too focused on gender roles and political loyalty even though individualism is sprawled on the surface.

Anyway, even though this is vastly different, it felt closest to the original Alien out of all the successors - a beautiful human heart was visible.

~ FIN ~

And one last comment. The number of times Ripley put her hand in Call's 'hole' were too many, monsieur Jeunet! ;)

Recent movies

2011-08-27T10:14:00.000-05:00

Thirst (Törst) by Ingmar Bergman

Bergman, you are such a torturer! An extremely raw look at loneliness and companionship.

300

I expected a stupid action movie with shallowness all around, but wow was I pleasantly surprised! The panty wearing men were so very cool, with their shield and spear tactics and strong, warm hearts. I think I had goosebumps throughout the whole movie. Each shot's composition was wonderful, with their bold shapes and shadows, and what also what made them particularly interesting were the movements of the light sources; the scenes didn't feel as static as I imagined they would have been from the commercials I saw long ago. The colors, or should I saw taxtures, were fantastic. The metallic shininess of their skin and eyes were so visceral yet not too raw. The king's name is also the same as my favorite chocolate brand. Yummy.
There was this one scene that was very unexpected with the queen, yeah, she is awesome. Nice to see a movie like this since everything else I rented recently has been extremely depressing for some reason.

Kakera by Ando Momoko

The yes woman! They make me so sad. Since they exist all around me. :(

Mass Effect 2: Shepard

2011-08-26T09:23:00.000-05:00

My custom Shepard, but closer to my own face. I like my heroes crazy but moral (in their own way).

- I imagined her as part Reaper.
- The planets behind her are: the Earth, the moon, then the home worlds of the Krogan, Turian, Salarian, then Asari.
- The gun is a Cain/Sniper rifle hybrid.

Painted in photoshop, including the texture fills on her armor.

Dragon Age 2's Merrill

2011-08-20T09:28:00.001-05:00

Drew this for a friend, I'm still in the middle of DA:O. Sigh.

Kim Ki-duk's Crocodile

2011-08-17T09:22:00.000-05:00

Someone greatly fascinated me on the Mass Effect community boards (I'm such a dork :)), so I checked out his list of favorite movies - and there I saw a director I never heard of before. Kim Ki-duk, a Korean film maker. His all time favorite was a movie called 3-iron, so I first checked that out. What was interesting about this movie was that it was a sort of male fantasy that I rarely see done well, the story of the non-angsty introvert, a free-thinker. I am always curious about the state of humans outside society (I don't mean 'the outcast'), so this was a real treat. It was sort of like a ghost visiting the human world.

So, I just finished watching Kim Ki-duk's first movie, "Crocodile". This movie hit a bit too close for comfort so I had to put up my 'wall-of-unfeeling' to finish watching it.

Passion falls flat on its face when directed at the pained. When you stop pushing outwards, the current comes inwards. When you can withstand the current, then space and time is shared. The parasite, the virus, the predator; true symbiosis is drinking the poison and living through it.

I highly recommend this movie to all those who struggle to find form in their emotions. I'm definitely going to check out the rest of his movies.

Catherine Deneuve in " the Hunger"

2011-08-07T10:56:00.000-05:00

A few days ago "the Hunger" was highly recommended to me by someone I trust, so I watched it (very reluctantly). I was never a big fan of vampires since I never understood the lure, or the attractiveness of their so called sadness. But wow! I was so blown away by Catherine's portrayal of a vampire I had to make this post showing her amazing facial expressions.

*This post is full of spoilers!

We are introduced to Miriam, a vampire that has been around for thousands of years. At this point we don't know much about her, but you can already see this sort of longing in her eyes.

Miriam looking at her next potential partner. You can see an animal like determination in her eyes.

Fascinated, eager, probably imagining their future together. She has already moved on from her current partner.

She is confronted by her dying partner. Her lies about eternal life have been uncovered.

Her potential partner was killed, so she moves onto her next target.

Susan is instantly captivated by this mysterious woman.

Susan finds her way to Miriam's home. There, Miriam flirts hard with Susan.
Giving her 'the look'.

Give a smile...

... looks away, with her smile gone. Playing her little games.

Well, the prey falls. Easy!

The ritual is done. Miriam relaxes to her piano now that she has her new partner.

Susan isn't what she used to be. :)

Miriam, looking a bit strange considering she succeeded. Perhaps her lack of confidence is showing.

Cocky little 'I'm your mistress bitch' look.

Oh, but look at this vulnerability! Always fluctuating from her real self to her act.

Miriam notices something is wrong.

She has lost her partner, for Susan has stabbed herself in the neck. As the blood spills out of Susan's mouth, Miriam hungrily drinks it, kissing and grabbing at Susan.

She is alone.

Wonderful movie even just to see Catherine.

Mass Effect 2: Metamorphosis

2011-07-28T06:53:00.000-05:00

I drew this after playing Mass Effect 2 and the Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC.

Totally blown away by how the writers worked Liara into the Shepard story. What dedication! She was truly a 'dark knight'. You don't see too many female(-ish because asari?) characters like this.
I'm actually scared by how much attention she's getting by Bioware, it makes me afraid of all the hard decisions possibly coming up in Mass Effect 3. <:) sigh

I also got a few requests for a bigger version, here's a link!:
http://onibox.com/art/illust/onibox_metamorphosis.jpg

Warden and Shepard

2011-07-15T12:31:00.001-05:00

Looking through art on bioware, I realized I loved looking at people's Shepards and Wardens! So here are mine.

Mass Effect
Shepard. I forgot the class name but she uses biotics and pistols (head shots, HALO style).

And my favorite team. :D Sometimes Jack or Thane makes an appearance.

Dragon Age
God they all look so dumb. <3

I find it funny how small elves are... the Warden looks like a little boy, but has a sexy and deep English accent voice. Very cool!

Fie, bacterial infections and inflammations!

2011-06-22T06:20:00.000-05:00

I've been in the company of some very lovely bacterium who have been partying in my throat and lungs for like 3 weeks now. Every time I think I am okay and go to work, it is always a false alarm and they are back with bigger speakers, harder liquor, and more potent STDs. :(

Honestly I am starting to forget what the outside world is like... I am pale, very pale...!

In any event, I have been getting fancy with my cooking with very few ingredients. My onion and pumpkin miso/soy sauce/mirin soup with thick noodles and tofu was delicious!

Mass Effect 1

2011-05-28T11:18:00.001-05:00

Loved, loved Mass Effect! The end actually made me tear (so cheesy but so damn well executed!).
Just started to play Mass Effect 2, but I had to finish this before meeting up with Liara again.

Female Shepard and Liara, from the first Mass Effect.

click to see bigger image :)

Luciano Pavarotti and Skunk Anansie

2011-05-20T20:49:00.003-05:00

Two wonderful singer artists, sharing love with their singing.

Love

2011-05-20T20:06:00.000-05:00

1000 kilometers or one?

A tip or a bathe? - sometimes we know -

in muddy waters, rapid neons blinking and

dipping the finger and the eye, nose, ears.

Rationalizing with philosophy, sociology, experience

with science and dna, chemicals and books

literature and culture, flowing yet - ?

Fiction of the heart and morality,

outside and learned.

2011-05-12T06:50:00.000-05:00

Youth falls when the elders depart -
the land of fathers and mothers and teachers,
a cow and gold watch,
a hunger for beauty lost, or never found.

映画「プレシャス」

2011-02-23T10:16:00.000-05:00

今日「プレシャス」という映画を見ました。あまりにも良かったのでちょっと感想を。
公式サイトと予告編：　http://www.precious-movie.net/

しかし日本の公式サイトでプレシャスがチビキャラになってて笑った（笑）こんなものもキャラ化するのかい！
ちなみに英語サイトはこんな感じ：http://www.weareallprecious.com/

「プレシャス」は近親相姦（レイプ）や虐待を何年も受けている16歳の女性という重いテーマの映画ですが、物凄くポジティブでビックリ。明るすぎるぐらいなのに、うそ臭くないので、とてもいいバランスに感じました。
最近読んだToni MorrisonのThe Bluest Eye（青い眼がほしい）は似たようなテーマですが最悪なほど絶望的だったので。しかし近親相姦の話はリアルでも身近の人から聞くし、どんだけ広まっている問題なんだろう。しかし何でこんなことが起きるのかが不思議。経済的な問題もあるけど、やはり愛の飢えと社会的排除を受けた時のエフェクトなのかな。教えられた答えは知ってるし説明できるけど、やはり心は理解していない。自分がそれをやるという経験がないと理解不可能なのかな。と思うと、芸術は大切だね。ニュースやアカデミックのテキストはやっぱり、とても冷たいから。
同性愛関係のニュースやエッセーや政治活動と関係するものは多く読んでるけど、フィクションだと全然「理解」のレベルが違う。たとえば日本の漫画の「羣青」のメガネさんのおかげで、色々自分の事をわかることができたなど、不思議な発見が多いです。

関係ないけどレズビアンのキャラクターがあまりにもかっこよくて嬉しかった。素敵でああなりたい！と思えて嬉しい。なんか分からないけど良く見るレズビアンキャラにpsychoが多すぎる。しかし同性愛者へ対しての差別問題の発言が変に多いなと思ったら、監督さんがゲイだった。えい、もっとやってくれい、 Mr Lee Daniels！

Recently in news about gay marriage and Catholics

2011-02-10T23:30:00.001-05:00

I'm not sure how much my perception is grounded in reality, considering this is an impression I get from internet news sites (everyday I look over extreme left, right, and middle of the road sites).

However, over the past few months, it seems to me that there has been a surge of Catholic supporters for gay marriage, including priests. Interesting since I'm pretty sure the text of the Bible has not been changed in any way recently - though I have a suspicion when someone exclaims "the Bible says so!", in truth they just mean "what everyone around me is saying the Bible says".

No matter, this is a wonderful trend that will not stop anytime soon. I'm sure the haters need to get around to their new target - immigrants - which will probably in the future include the Chinese.

噴水と蛇口

2011-02-05T12:08:00.000-05:00

綺麗な噴水
びゅっ、びゅっ、びゅううううー　とタイミングに合わせて様々のパターンで噴く
細く　太く　ゆっくりと　素早く　円や　線　滝や　雨

壊れた蛇口
きゅっ、きゅっ、きゅううううー　とちょっとづつひねったけど急にドバっと出てくる
カラ　ドバ　静か　ドバ　止まっている　ドバ　ドバっと　ドバドバ

中村珍の「羣青」中巻とAdrianne Richの「Blood, Bread, and Poetry」（ネタバレ無し）

2011-01-30T10:05:00.000-05:00

今日下北沢のヴィレッジヴァンガードで中村珍の「羣青」の中巻を買い、読み終わりました。
（あそこはかなり中村珍をプッシュしてるので、是非あそこで買わないと！と感じてたので）

そして同じく今日、この二週間読んでいたAdrianne Richの「Blood, Bread, and Poetry」という
レズビアン・フェミニスト・エッセーのコレクションを読み終わらせました。

三年前、私は26歳になった時、すべてを置いてきて、
育ったニューヨークを出て母の祖国日本、東京に自分探しをする為に来ました。

「羣青」と「Blood, Bread, and Poetry」は「社会によって作られた私のアイデンティティー」理解の為の旅を、ご一緒させてもらってます。

この質問で自分探しは始まりますね：　「自分とは何か」「真実の正体は何か」
今までの答えはこれでした：「自分は自分だから」「アイデンティティー？今の時代では古臭い考えだ」

アイデンティティーに関してはこんな考えが限界でした：

・私は女性であり、ハーフであり、レズビアンである。
例）3人のうち一人の女性は性暴力を受けたことがあるので気をつけないといけない。
例）人にあれこれ言われたり扱われないようになるべく黙ってるべきだ。
例）アメリカの法律を見ると、未だに女性は男の為の妊娠用の生き物でしかないところが見える。
・パートナーと結婚ができない。
例） VISA関係で、日本人のパートナーとアメリカに戻れない。
例）税金、保険やその他社会システムに適用されていない。
・「貴女は何人ですか？」という質問に答えられない。
例）自然に入り込める場所がコミュニティーがない。

しかし、「Blood, Bread, and Poetry」を読み、大事なことを見逃してたことに気づきました：

・ 私は特権階級であるホワイトアメリカンでもある。

その事実が見えなかった理由で、人生の色んな事を理解できなかった。
理由は簡単です。
私はその特権階級ホワイトアメリカン社会の「安全」の中に残れるため、
自分のすべてを受け入れようとしない上、存在を認めることもしないからです。
常に失見当識状態でした。

結婚、子供、いい人、正しさ、女らしさ、日本人文化、ホワイトアメリカンメディアの洗脳と植え付けが、
ここまで心にプレッシャーを与えているということが分かってませんでした。
ただ同性愛者としての劣等感だと勘違いしてました。

「羣青」ではその失見当識状態を上手く表現しています。
強制異性愛社会にいるキャラクター達は、言ってる事、感じてること、行動がめちゃめちゃです。

ここは「Blood, Bread, and Poetry」に気づかされたポイントです。
私は最近までは、人間は皆同じような悩みがあると信じていました。
お腹すいていたら食べたい・・・寂しかったら仲間が欲しい・・・暴力を受けたくない・・・幸せになりたい・・・
確かにそれは全部真実です。
だからこそ、その真実であるアイディアを使い、マジョリティーは上手くマイノリティーをコントロールできるのです。
私は自分を騙してました。自分は「マイノリティー」なんかではない。そんなラベルを貼られたくない。
人間であるので、私の悩みも幸せも、同じ人間同士共用できるものではないかと。

「高いところを意識していれば、皆同じではないか」
そこに集中させるのが、マジョリティーの技です。
「小さいところばかり考えたり悩む人は、馬鹿で話を聞く必要がない」
「もっと世界の大きな悩みがあるではないか」
「＜女　同性愛者　黒人　その他マイノリティー＞はわがままで感情的だな」
「そんな下らない考えに囚われない＜女　同性愛者　黒人　その他マイノリティー＞は偉くて俺たちの仲間だな」、と。

これは全部、マジョリティーがマイノリティーを静める為のプロパガンダである。
分断攻略です。
人にラベルを貼り、個人という顔をぼかし、言葉を「過激」や「感情的」などといって過小評価し、コントロールしてるのです。

だが、人は自分の性別、人種、生まれ、親、環境、美貌、頭の良さ、政治力、経済力により、全然違う生き物となります。
宗教に入っていないのに、社会による「高い意識」というものに、自分はもう29年騙されてたことに気づきました。
同じく特権階級ホワイトアメリカンである私も、他人に押し付けていました。反省・・・

羣青の話に戻りますが、羣青は「表面・政治」と「裏面・セクシュアリティーの心の問題を抱えた人物」が見事に描かれています。
表面の話になると、「レズさん」の視点が良いポイントだと思います。
殆どの人は自分が異性愛者である事について全然考えないところ、
それがどんなに同性愛者を痛めるか分かっていません。
頭で「酷い！」とは思えますが、やはり理解がなく他人であるので、行動まで繋がらない。

「レズさん」（とレズさんの元彼女）の苦しみは私も凄く日常に感じています。
「男女」というペアで成り立っている社会で生きることの辛さ。
心の問題は内側ではなく外側からくるプレッシャーですね。
それによって黙る自分、諦める自分、美しく生きようとする自分。
「元彼女さん」の思考が自分に被りすぎて、怖くなってしまいました。
この人と喋りたかったな。そう感じました。

その反対、「メガネさん」は
同性愛者か分かりませんが、
強制異性愛、家父長制社会で育った女性の問題が凄く出ていますね。
そのせいでめちゃめちゃになる自分の思考。

私は自分はセクシュアリティーに関しての問題なんかない！と思っていましたが、
「メガネさん」の不安や怒りがあまりにも私と被っていて恐ろしかったです。
何が問題かというと、マイノリティーである自分ではなく、
自分の心と世界の境界線がズレまくってブレまくって、何もかも分からなくなる恐怖感。
自分の感情と好き嫌いだけはハッキリしているから、まるで自分を分かっていると勘違いしてしまう。

レズビアンである「レズさん」の方が、そのような苦しみがないように見えますね。
そこが面白い。
こういう異性愛社会で苦しまされるのは意外と、「同性愛者ではない女性」であることが。

私みたいな人は社会では「いない存在」とされてるので、中村珍というアーティストには感謝の気持ちが物凄くあります。
良いレズビアン作品が本当にないんです！
レズビアン→いい作品　が嬉しいのではなく、
いい作品→レズビアンテーマも入ってる！　が良いですからね・・・
そもそもいいと思える作品自体が少なすぎる。っと、これはまた別の話題ですね。

後、「羣青」の中巻はかなり作者の漫画の技術が上手くなっててビックリしました。
真面目なアーティストは貴重な存在ですね。
作者の生命の美しさが溢れてます。これは世界全体に広めるべき作品なので、
「羣青」という作品の将来の影響力が楽しみです。
（下巻が待ち遠しい！）

ぜひ、強制異性愛社会の暴力に興味がある方、読んでみてください。

後一言。
帯のキャッチコピーがあまりにも強制異性愛社会的で強烈な皮肉。
「男が一切出る幕のない格闘恋愛漫画だ！」　
↑馬鹿すぎてありえない。
さらに作品のメッセージが強く響きますね。

次はトニ・モリソンの「The Bluest Eye」を読みます。
白人社会にいる黒人女性の話で、作者はピューリッツァー賞とノーベル賞を貰ってる、
白人男性社会で認められた数少ないマイノリティー。どんな作品か気になりますね！

中村珍の「羣青」中巻読み終わったあと（ネタバレあり）

2011-01-30T10:03:00.002-05:00

「羣青」の怖いところは、感性や思考やもう色んなところが私と波長が合いすぎるところ。
どのキャラクターも物凄く感情移入できるのは何故だろう。作者私と似てるのかな。

「元彼女さん」の自殺までの思考回路と、自殺の仕方が自分ではないかと思うほどだった。
自分は自殺未遂はしたことないですが、あのゆったりとした雰囲気。
無理矢理元気を出そうとしてるが、何もかも無。
「もう頑張らなくて良いよね、頑張らなくなったらこのまま死んでゆくはははさようなら・・・」
あの「絶望感」ではないなんか違うなにか。本当に愛してたんだな。そして、無理してたんだな。
なんか寂しさより深い何かを感じた。
動物が死んでゆくような、自然に亡くなった感じが。
自分が死ぬ時は、こんな死に方もいいなと思った。

貴女は見ている　夢の中を
目に反射してるのは貴女の思い出
手放す？・・・　殺さないで！

弱すぎる手　いつも切迫した芯
橋になれず水にもなれず
こっちにおいで・・・　見えない？

大事に育てられた花　つぼみの中が輝き
開く瞬間が来たよ
誰か来て・・・　誰か来て

摂州合邦辻と尾上菊之助（歌舞伎）

2010-12-23T06:29:00.001-05:00

今日は歌舞伎友達と日生劇場で「摂州合邦辻」を見に行きました。

初めて解説イアフォン無しで、あらすじを読みながら追いかけました。
細かい台詞の面白さがキャッチできなくて悔しい！

←でも玉手御前役の尾上菊之助の演技が素晴らしすぎて、
珍しく役者が気になりましたので、調べておきました。

実家の中の母と父の「音」を聞く時の表情と仕草。
とても長い間で、その緊張感が凄かったです。

そして玉手の「最後」の表情。
あれは物凄かったです。あれは恐ろしいぐらい美しくて力があって弱くて切なく、矛盾というもののハーモニーを円のような完璧のバランスにした様な顔でした。

両方とも台詞無しの表情/身体の表現なんだけど、凄かった。

劇は命のように「残らない」ものだからやけにパワフル。もう見れないんだ。本当に芸術は恋愛やセックスみたいな神秘性がある。

What I did yesterday and today

2010-12-11T07:56:00.001-05:00

For the past week I have been in a terrible state of mind and health. I think it's because I am obsessing over the fact that I need to schedule an appointment for a biopsy (already a few weeks overdue). What for? To check if I need to get one of my organs cut out, which, to put it mildly, is extremely stressful. In fact recently I have been thinking of just getting the operation over with, so I never need to worry about it again.

Anyway, I am not doing a very good job becoming less stressed, since the more I try to becomes less stressed, I become more stressed since I'm constantly thinking about it. Every failure to reduce stress induces physical pain, which leads to even more stress and more pain and more anxiety. Having an especially anxiety-prone personality does not help. I feel that I need to keep myself entertained and busy (so I don't think), which kind of started an unhealthy amount of twitter and blog reading.

On the other hand, there has been some benefits. I am eating healthier and taking better care of myself overall both physically and mentally. I am slowly but surely dropping bad habits and making new, healithier ones. I hope that is counteracting the streess-anxiety-pain cycle I described above.

I noticed that asking for advice just results in receiving contradictory "shoulds" and "musts", which just makes things too confusing for me to handle, so I just kind of try to go with the flow and not think too much (not a big strength of mine).

Aside from all this, I found an excellent blog which I am obsessively reading now. My writing skills are weak so it feels great reading such well thought out, well written opinion pieces. You can find the link on the right column, called Clarissa's Blog. I usually dislike the English language but, perhaps because her first language is Russian and she teaches in Spanish, her writings do not project that "too wordy" heaviness, or "look how beautifully I write" type of narcissm, or "oh I'm so sexy and trendy" quality. I think I found another person I can look up to!

Today I went to see pottery at the Idemitsu Museum in Hibiya. I saw some wonderful pieces and even bought a book there, which I rarely do. The book covers Tenmoku Chawan, which are small bowls which have patterns on them that resemble space / stars / the universe, and I believe to be extremely beautiful. When I first came to Japan, I went into a local housewares store and bought a bowl very similar to a Tenmoku Chawan. I was so impressed with the bowl since I never saw anything like it before, and I thought that Japan will be filled with more things just as beautiful. I was wrong though, and that specific store moved far away, leaving me with one beautiful bowl. I should have bought two.

quote from Martin Niemöller

2010-12-11T07:16:00.000-05:00

When the Nazis came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent; I was not a social democrat. When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist. When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I wasn't a Jew. When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.
-Martin Niemöller

Arild Andersen

2010-11-26T11:42:00.000-05:00

今日とても素敵なカフェに行きました。
「月光茶房」というところで、コーヒーもマスターもお店も素敵でした。

そこで「Arild Andersen」というjazz artistを知りましたが、惚れました。
アンダーソンだし。;)

まだなにも知らないけど、
とにかくyoutubeの検索で最初に出た動画。

いいですねー！

本を貰った！

2010-11-26T11:20:00.001-05:00

今日いっぱい本を貰いました。5冊です。

特に気になってた「ブッダのことば」　、中村元によるスッタ・ニパータの原訳。
中身見たけど、メガネなしで読めないぐらい文字がちっちゃい！
難しい漢字もいっぱいだ。

なので、まずはスマナサーラさんの訳した「蛇の章」からはじめようと考えてます。

とにかく最近ブッダにはまってます。
やっと信頼できるロールモデルを見つけたかも？

日本、中国の仏教は、本来の仏教の姿と全然違っており、悪い意味で「宗教臭い」。オリジナルのブッダのお言葉は、哲学的で厳正中立なところが大変ぴんと来ます。

あと大好きのきんもちも一年ぶりに食べに行った。
たまらない美味しさ・・・！お店の人も本当に素敵な雰囲気で、テレますね。

う～ん幸せ。

ポッキーの日でYMOを知った

2010-11-11T08:39:00.000-05:00

バレーボールの途中に何回も流れたポッキーのCMに使われてた曲が気になって、ようつべでみたら、ビデオが凄く良かった！何故ならばゲームと宇宙オタだから。

YMOの「ライディーン」

2010　世界バレー　女子

2010-10-30T22:38:00.000-05:00

「さあ世界一は決めようか」はキャッチコピーとしてどうかと思うけど、超応援してます！
私にとっては、見れるスポーツはオリンピックと女子バレーだけです。女達とかっくいいチームワークと戦い、たまりません！

荒木が落ちつぃてるし、チームワークが最高になった日本。毎日が楽しみ！
http://www.tbs.co.jp/sebare/

dr king

2010-10-12T23:06:00.001-05:00

"like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true."

音楽　Balmorhea

2010-10-09T07:00:00.002-05:00

会社では最近まで、仕事内容は企画がメインでありました。

企画の内容が簡単に理解できるように書かなくてはいけない時に、
不自由の日本語で書かないといけなかったので、神経を針のように鋭くしてました。
その上プロジェクト管理をしていたので、人が喋りかけてきても良い様に、
なるべくヘッドフォンをしないでいました。
そのおかげ、仕事中はまったく音楽に集中できなかった日々でした。

ただし、先週ぐらいからはデザインやコーディングがメインになったので、
久々にyoutubeプレイリストを使用し、色んな新しい音楽を聴き出してたんですが、
一つ物凄く印象に残りました。

バンドの名は　「Balmorhea」(バルモルヒア)
2006年に生まれた五重奏団。
少々荒っぽくてアグレッシブな音色と（軽くて痛い音）、
悟りを開いた人が真っ直ぐ見つめ、指と目が指した空気が震えるような音（雷の低い音）が混ざった、
不思議な感じの味。

なんか、繊細で静かな、何百年も漂う魂を持つ、日本の男性がもつ美しさに似てると感じた。

In the Rowans
タイプライターの音の使い方が好き。

The Winter
美しいですねぇ！

Increased number of suicides by gay and lesbian teenagers

2010-10-02T18:09:00.001-05:00

A good (and simple) article on suicides resulting from anti-gay bullying and its effect on gay and lesbians as a whole.

Link: Why Anti-Gay Bullying is a Theological Issue
And the moral imperative of anti-bullying preaching, teaching and activism
By CODY J. SANDERS

It's one thing when children do it because they are still uneducated about diversity and the consequences of their behavior towards one another, but when huge multi-billion dollar groups start picking on a group of people, that's when it becomes a bit scary.

族

2010-09-06T21:49:00.000-05:00

自分の族　その社会
肉と肉　結びつける血
信じるもの　向かってるところ
一緒に育った人　同じ白が見える
別けて　別けて　白の間に黒がある
族が観れば白がある
私が見ると黒がある　足元
ゴーストが薄っすらと　激しい赤
その時が撃つ瞬間と学ぶ
遠くから見ると　白がある
さまようゴースト　薄っすらと
撃たれる瞬間　白くなる

Kick-Ass-Phenomenal

2010-08-14T04:02:00.000-05:00

Just watched Kick-Ass, and wow, what an entertaining movie!
Worth it just to see one character, and you will know when you see her.

Proposition 8 - Ruled Unconstitutional

2010-08-05T10:11:00.000-05:00

One thing I believe that needs to be pointed out, is that proposition 8 was ruled unconstitutional.

The ruling did not say:
- homosexuality is not wrong
- one man and one woman marriage is not optimal
- religion is wrong
- voters were wrong in what they voted for

The ruling stated that you can't take away people's rights because you don't like them having those rights.

Reading anti-gay marriage posts and articles is so bizarre, since mostly they are talking about morality and lifestyle, not law.

I mean, let's say it is true that:
- a homosexual parent is worse than pedophile parent
- a child living with his or her biological parents is better over a single parent/adoptive parents/same-sex couple household
- heterosexual people will suddenly become homosexual since it is not outlawed or shunned
- outlawing same-sex marriage will make sure kids rarely see or hear about same-sex relationships
- outlawing same-sex marriage will make kids not get into same-sex relationships later in life
- same-sex marriage will make opposite-sex marriage look less attractive or important
- allowing same-sex marriage will trample on people's religious rights
- overturning prop8 is like taking power away from the voters

Yes, let's say all those things are true.

Does that still justify not allowing same-sex couples to get married?

I definitely cannot see the logic there, not even counting the legal basis.
Gays and lesbians will continue to live together, have or adopt children, and just you know, exist!

Let's go one by one:

- a homosexual parent is worse than pedophile parent

Justifying that "the group" of heterosexual parents are different from "the group" of homosexual parents does not make sense. It is just a focus on sex - male and female. The quality of parenting or character is non existent.

- a child living with his or her biological parents is better over a single parent/adoptive parents/same-sex couple household

Saying that all children should be parented by a biologically related mom and dad couple that is wealthy, "moral", and somehow "good parents" does not mean that by excluding the other types of parents will result in those children being brought up by the "ideal" couple. Saying other people suck is fine, but that doesn't mean by having a "bad" parent eliminated, a "good" parent will magically appear to take its place.

- heterosexual people will suddenly become homosexual since it is not outlawed or shunned

People will only have the need to hide their attractions and relationships. Why make those people unhappy? Seriously.

I can't imagine having 'love' taken out of my life - not acting on loving feelings, hiding your significant other, and being ashamed of your love - just to please others.

- outlawing same-sex marriage will make sure kids rarely see or hear about same-sex relationships

Considering murder and sex outside of wedlock and other said-sins in forms of entertainment are enjoyed by almost every citizen (who doesn't like Die Hard, James Bond, or Shakespeare?) - I wonder if homosexuals are seen as worse than adulterers, liars, and atheists. Remember the hubbub over gay books in schools.

- outlawing same-sex marriage will make kids not get into same-sex relationships later in life

I think it is more about the fact that being homosexual results in ostracization from your friends, family, and social circle - sounds plausible that you don't want to be seen as a homosexual!

So if I remember correctly, this case is about forcing people into marriages to have children for the state right?

- same-sex marriage will make opposite-sex marriage look less attractive or important

If marriage loses 'value' because the unpopular kids are doing it too, there are fundamental issues with the value of marriage.

- allowing same-sex marriage will trample on people's religious rights

You can't force people to follow your faith.

Also, if you truly, truly believe that allowing same-sex marriage is trampling on your rights, then you must admit that taking away other people's right to get a civil marriage is the same thing as taking away their rights too. So basically you rather have someone lose out than yourself.

- overturning prop8 is like taking power away from the voters

There are three branches of government for a reason.
Voters have the power to vote, and a judge has power to say the created law is unconstitutional and nullify it.

I wonder when this case will get to the supreme court!

18号　今日の進み２

2010-08-04T09:30:00.000-05:00

Megadeth - A Tout Le Monde (unplugged)

2010-08-02T10:19:00.000-05:00

wow

18号　今日の進み

2010-08-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

18号

2010-07-31T01:41:00.000-05:00

久々に二次創作描き始めた。
会社にドラゴンボールの漫画が置いてあったので初読み！子供のときのごくうと18号がかわいい。

むーセル存在感ありすぎだから削ろうかなぁ。

Gay Marriage Ad from Argentina

2010-07-18T23:49:00.000-05:00

So simple and wonderful.

Oh and the Catholic groups opposing gay marriage has the same ads as the US (protect the children, protect religious freedom, etc).

Yay! Wristcutting!

2010-07-15T10:10:00.002-05:00

This is how they sell razors in Japan.

Haha.

ユトリロ見に行った

2010-07-06T11:27:00.000-05:00

絵を描きたくなった
こんなちっちゃなノートじゃなくてよー！
自分がつまらん

とはいえ旅に出たいな
美しいものを見たい
脳をびっくりさせる、涙を

そういえば最近萎えるものが多いけど
凄く感動するものも増えてる
萎えと感動の激しい波は感性が生き生きしてる証拠だ
ふわははは

ちひろイジメに感じる

2010-06-30T10:03:00.000-05:00

このビデオ酷すぎじゃないですか？？
酔っ払った学生が適当に作ったもの以下に感じる。。。。
事務所の屋上？

。。。と思いつつ、あまりにも痛くて狙ってる？なんなの？

生々しい、、、悪い意味で。（笑
足で終わる。。。指が浮いてる。。。寒いのかな。。。
ヒドイ

やっとお金かけた感じだけど全然合って無いじゃん。まともなビデオはないのか！

曲聴いたことあるの？＞作者

むりやりお洒落にしてるけど中身に合ってない。。。見てて辛い。
個性を生かしてないな。ちひろもっと怒っていいよ。

というより自分が嫌いなのかな。何になろうとしてるんだろう。
パイナップルが爆発した。
でもこれはまだマシな方だね。。。

なんかやっとマシなものを見た。
彼女のキモ怖い感じが世界観からそんなにずれてない。良かった。

見ててヒヤヒヤした。音楽しか聴いてなかったからこういう映像萎えるね。。。
原作を読んだ後に映画を見た時のアレ。

でも、ちひろの声とか動きとか最高。
目の開き具合とか、背中の曲がり方とか、腕の暴れ方。そそるわ。
色っぽくないから、女性のシンガーとしては凄く特殊な魅力がある。処女なのかな。どうなんだろう。ありえないか。（笑
でも心が凄そう。どんな人と恋愛するんだろう。

〆に。（しかしこの〆←って字なの？）
この人この曲に合ってるね！keiさん凄い。

本物。くだらんビデオ無し。ピュアに凄い。

体が死体だけど魂が飛んでる。目がキラキラしてて素敵だね。

ああ〆てない。
ももえには敵わないけどいいね。なんか声がいいというよりなんか違う魅力だね。

じゃあももえで〆！
20歳か。。。

Morrowind Speedrun 7minutes!

2010-06-24T12:13:00.000-05:00

I never even beat this game since I never wanted it to end...!

Dear Morrowind - I think you're the best game ever. Love you always.

無人島行き

2010-06-19T06:12:00.002-05:00

くっきり　黒と白のシルエット
今まで見たものより素敵でしょ
無人島に着くと信じれるから
わがまま言えるんじゃない
そうじゃないと淋しすぎるよ

路線を走ってる電車
私はただの窓　向こうに駅が見えて
誰かかが手を振ってるのが見えるけど
脱線して割れてしまう
そうしないと淋しすぎるよ

無人島行き
無人島行き
海を見た人はいるの？
生まれた場所と聞いたけど、
なんで見えないの　黒い無人島

警告が鳴った　隣の席を見ると
誰もいないけど、温もりを感じる
頑張って走ってるから
冷えを感じないんだね
そうじゃないと淋しすぎるよ

周りを見ると　ぼやけてくる
はっきりしてたはずなのに
近くで見たらグレイ色
黒く塗ると　白い穴が見えるけど
やってみないと淋しすぎるよ

無人島行き
無人島行き
海を見た人はいるの？
生まれた場所と聞いたけど、
なんで見えないの　黒い無人島

無人島行き
無人島行き
海を見た人はいるの？
貴方がいる場所と聞いたけど、
きっとあるよね　黒い無人島

Proposition 8 Trial - thoughts on the closing arguments.

2010-06-19T01:54:00.000-05:00

It's been a long five months waiting for the closing arguments for Perry v. Schwarzenegger.

Transcripts for the closing arguements (and the rest of the trial) available at Firedoglake's Prop8 Coverage.

For those of you unfamiliar with Perry v. Schwarzenegger, here is a quick summary. And wikipedia is your friend.
6 months after a state law banning same-sex marriages was ruled unconstitutional by the California Supreme Court, Proposition 8 was voted in into the California constitution by a 52% yes (48% no) vote by the voters of California, stating: no marriages other than a marriage between a man and a woman will be recognized in California. This constitutional amendment is being challenged as unconstitutional under the US constitution.

I remember while I was in the US, my surrounding always reminded me that I was gay.
Planning my life only involved myself, since my life partner didn't matter to society and the government (marriage, insurance, buying a house). Everything about life in a society is infused by marriage and kids. If you are not married, you are single. You are defined by your romantic relationship status (of course on top of race and sex). Any conversation, tv show, book, article, saying, or comedic routine that involved people mentioned husbands, wives, kids, girlfriends, boyfriends, hot/cute/ugly ratings - something about your sexual/romantic life. It was unavoidable thinking about relationship status. I always had to be careful about who I came out to, and every conversation had an unnecessarily tense and unpleasant element.

I'm in Japan now, and things are quite different. It's pretty strange, since Japan is known to be one of the worst countries in the developed world when it comes to women's rights (the trains have special cars for women since there is such a big molestation problem. Women are punished by indifference and victim blaming if they happen to mention someone is molesting them, while being surrounded by 100 people who will do nothing!), but in this country I have no worries walking down the street holding my girlfriend's hand or giving her a kiss. I see male couples shopping at the supermarket together and hugging. Anti-gay slurs do not exist. Nothing in the news about gays, no random murders and beatings of gay people. Is there no hate? I wonder, since there are no rights, but no bashings either, with relative freedom. It's an odd comparison to the US. There are no civil rights groups here (I can't even find anything on the net), no nothing. It is clearly there but not spoken about.

Anyway, living in Japan, I started to forget about how it feels to have hate spewed (directly and indirectly) at you everyday and feeling tense all the time. Not having to be in "survival mode", I was able to follow the trial without getting emotional, which is a plus! Some thoughts. I felt that the defense (not just Cooper in the closing arguments, that was just sad) felt sort of like idealistic, self conscious teenagers. What they were saying - protecting society from ruin by making gay marriage illegal - almost felt like some sort of aggressive protection of childhood dreams, self made barriers, and the public respect for their parents and social circles - rather than the demonization of gays by a patronizing, obnoxious preacher.
Maybe because they couldn't just repeat the usual stuff based on 'beliefs' in a courtroom, they were trying to translate their ideas and beliefs into logical words and facts, and that made them come across as people who we needn't fear but could get along with, as long as both sides become more open and accepting. I just didn't see the "hate". Just fear.

The transcripts for Perry v. Schwarzenegger are a must read. Which ever side you are on, you will hear the evidence and concerns about gays and marriage, minus the emotion and the propaganda. Both sides made a clear case, completely unfiltered by the tv and media. It's too bad almost everyone will just get a blip of biased, mangled crap by the time it reaches their ears.

Classic.

2010-06-16T09:54:00.000-05:00

"Andrew Pugno, an attorney for Prop. 8's backers, said in an interview that the sponsors aren't asking Walker to nullify the 18,000 marriages, but only to rule that government agencies, courts and businesses no longer have to recognize the couples as married."

Mind implodes.

Finally! Closing Arguments for Proposition 8

2010-06-16T08:56:00.000-05:00

The judge presiding over the case asked the defendants and plaintiffs to answer a few questions before the closing arguements.

Here are the answers and questions located at scribd.com:

Defense:
Doc 687

Plaintiffs:
Plaintiffs Responses to Prop 8 Judge's Questions

Again, great reading material totally exposing the lack of any clear evidence supporting the defense's "arguments". All 30+ answers were basically the same:
"We have no evidence of any kind except that we think so and its always been this way!"

Well, if we go by that logic, I think cars can be banned by the state since naturally, men were made to walk and that is why we have obesity and high medical costs. It's all the car's fault!

Please read the document, it's full of terrible awesomeness.

Can't wait for the live blogging... whoo hoo!
http://firedoglake.com/prop8trial/
Coverage will begin on Wednesday, June 16th, 2010 at 10:00 AM PDT / 1:00 PM EST.

Lady Gaga's Alejandro

2010-06-12T01:53:00.005-05:00

Though I think I'll never understand the appeal of Lady Gaga as a performer (I always feel like I'm watching surgery or something - distant, cold, and precise), she is definitely an incredible producer. She also did some great things for gays, and really knows when to say what. It's too bad her performance is so lacking - I would love to see her direct a movie or a music video where she isn't a performer.

Her newest video, Alejandro, actually had some elements I enjoyed. The first few seconds had some amazing art direction going on. Other than that, the male dancers were surprisingly very sexy and attractive. Their weird pseudo nazi look and hand movements were pulled off wonderfully and nothing came across as cheesy or contrived. Maybe not emotional, but felt human. I can't help but cringe when Gaga comes on though. Personally I think a lip-syncing male actor in drag would have been an awesome replacement for her, but people seem to love her so I guess that's just me!
(the video is cut off on the right so just right click it and you can watch it on youtube :))

話し飛ぶけど（言語も）、妖精帝國ってバンド好きなんだけど、
歌は邪魔なので、橘尭葉さんのアレンジが良く聞こえるカラオケ版が好きです。

NOLANS - PLAYBACK Part2

2010-06-10T10:15:00.001-05:00

これは一体！！！！！！！（爆発

ちなみに本物。やっぱりかっこよすぎ！！！！
（しかしこの服は誰が何を考えて選んだのだろう）

アン・ルイス - 六本木心中

2010-06-10T09:21:00.000-05:00

セーラービーナスみたいでハンバーグみたいで口元がラリってて何回見ても最高すぎる。
こういうのがぽちぽち歴史に残ると良いな。

Pixel/Design Work (Monster Chronicle 2, mobile (jp))

2010-06-05T23:48:00.001-05:00

Did the designs and pixel art for the monsters.

studying css

2010-06-05T03:33:00.002-05:00

I've decided to say goodbye to Dreamweaver and decided the time has come to study css for real. I rewrote some of my homepage by hand and tried to go for 100% css for the formatting. Still on the basics but wow this is fun! I'm mainly using these two references:
http://www.w3schools.com/css/
and
http://www.smashingmagazine.com/
I just love, love Smashing Magazine. Always great stuff being shown there.

social media forever jabbed in your eye

2010-06-05T00:34:00.001-05:00

I figured I should check out mixi, twitter, facebook, and blogging more often. Keeping up with news, friends, now now now. How do people keep up with everything? Do people write emails anymore? How do people have enough time keeping up with like 100 things everyday? The mind boggles.

I will try to be modern. Success looks grim.

鳥居みゆきって姉が元ネタ？（笑

2010-06-02T08:30:00.002-05:00

最近鬼束ちひろにまたはまってる

2010-06-01T08:10:00.000-05:00

精神的に何でこうなってるのかわからないけど、
病気なのか
感情が強いのか
「アーティスト」というものなのだからか

理由はわからないけど、感動する
人間の感動というのは、卑怯で汚い時が多い

Liberal Media? Is this liberal?

2010-01-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Even the New York Times article covering the prop 8 trial sounds biased. This LA times article is awful.

I push everyone again, check out the full transcripts!

Proposition 8 Trial - Live Blogging pt4

2010-01-28T09:47:00.000-05:00

Quotes from http://seminal.firedoglake.com/, day 12 of Perry v Schwarzenegger
Cross examination of Dr. David Blankenhorn (expert witness for the defendants) by David Boies

From americanvalues.org:

David Blankenhorn is founder and president of the Institute for American Values, a private, nonpartisan organization devoted to contributing intellectually to the renewal of marriage and family life and the sources of competence, character, and citizenship in the United States.

Ok, now that that is established.

This stuff is freakin priceless. And horrific to boot.
I love how no sites I looked at so far which supports prop 8 post any links to the complete testimonies available online.

Check out the true face of the people pushing the fight against gay marriage (this guy was brought in by the defense, really!):

Boies: In your study of marriage, have you come across cases in the SCOTUS that talk about the right of marriage as a fundamental human right? YES OR NO
Blankenhorn: By ‘come across’ do you mean read?
Boies: Let's start with that.
Blankenhorn: No, to the best of my recollection
Boies: Has anyone summarized for you any cases about the fundamental right to marry?
Blankenhorn: I beleive yes, because if someone were to ask me if SCOTUS used the term fundamental right to marry, I would say I beleive I would say SCOTUS has said there is such a right, I would not be surprised if it was true, I would be happy –

Boies: I’m not asking if you are surprised or happy, I am asking if you are AWARE. Does it refresh your recollection that someone has talked to you about the fundamental right to marry at SCOTUS?
Blankenhorn: To the best of my recollection, no –

OMG!! That is a scary moment...

But this is even crazier:

Boies: I want to ask you about the 83% of societies that permit polygamous forms. What percentage of marriages prior to 100 years were polygamous?
Blankenhorn: I am a little embarrassed to tell you I don’t know
Boies: Try
Blankenhorn: I really don't know

Boies: I want to pursue whether polygamous marriages are consistent with your so-called rule of two –

(The "rule of two" here is the first rule of marriage given by Blankenhorn that states that a marriage must be between one man and one woman)

Blankenhorn: We’re down to so-called?
Boies: Well let me ask you question. IF a man has five wives –
Blankenhorn: No he has five marriages, each is one man one woman
Boies: So is that consistent with your rule of two?
Blankenhorn: Scholars say yes
Boies: You are transmitting the words of scholars?
Blankenhorn: You are putting words in my mouth
Boies: No I am not
Blankenhorn: Yes I think you are

Boies: Okay let’s look at your depo.
Blankenhorn: Well I was trying to base my arguments on scholarship. Other scholars have other views. Ethnographic scholars have made these arguments –
Boies: Well I am just addressing whether I put words in your mouth. Just read page 300, you are basing your analysis on highly regarded scholars –
Blankenhorn: THERE’S YOUR MOMENT, I SAID I AM A TRANSMITTER. GOTCHA! THIS IS YOUR MOMENT, I GUESS. If I may say it in my own words
Boies: Let me read what you said: I am not making things up on my own, these are not my own conclusions, I AM A TRANSMITTER OF OTHERS VIEWS. Did you give that testimony under oath at your depo?
Blankenhorn: Yes

Boies: So is it your judgement that a man married to five women –
Blankenhorn: Each with a separate ceremony with a separate I DO –
Boies: Yes, is it your testimony that a man who has one wife and then another wife, and then another wife, and then another wife and then another wife and then another wife — that is consistent with your rule of two? YES OR NO

Blankenhorn: yes, according to malinowski –

I see clearly now that "gay marriage leads to polygamy"!

Boies: Have you stated that it's important for unmarried women give their babies up for adoption to married couples?
Blankenhorn: With respect to teenage girls, I may have been part of a study that made such a recommendation

Wow.

Boies: NO singularly accepted universal definition of marriage. Marriage constantly evolving.
Blankenhorn: Yes sir. I wrote those words in my book.
Boies: No further questions, your honor.

Oh snap!

I think I don't even need to add any commentary to this.

Proposition 8 Trial - Live Blogging pt3

2010-01-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

I'm amazed at how much of the prop 8 trial isn't covered by the so called "liberal" media! I can't find a single article covering the real nitty-grittys of this case. The defense is being pummeled so far into a legal corner, it's almost sad to watch them fumbling around and tripping over their own words. And yet outside the transcripts, it looks like the defense is putting up a good fight...!

The mass media is extremely frightening. Does the truth really just fade away?

Proposition 8 Trial - Live Blogging pt2

2010-01-24T06:06:00.000-05:00

It looks like the defense is forfeiting the current case, and is busy readying statements they can use later when they appeal to the federal courts. And wow, the expert witnesses standing strong against the cross examinations - I wish I had their patience! I would definitely have tripped up after the first hour.

On a totally unrelated note, Britney Spears is a pretty amazing performer! Been watching her on youtube (yeah a bit late), and wow the charisma is explosive! :) I wonder what's with the media bashing?

Proposition 8 Trial - Live Blogging

2010-01-17T04:51:00.003-05:00

Reading online articles available on the topic have been disappointing - ones by the Left too short and similar in content, with writings by the Right skewing the words a bit too much for my tastes - so I've been reading full transcripts of the trial, available here at Firedoglake:
http://firedoglake.com/prop8trial/

Pretty fascinating stuff. Long and full of blah blah too.

All in all, it appears that it's purely an idealogical argument, but actually much simpler than the issue of abortion. Even if gays and lesbians do happen to be worse parents and create unstable households (as prop 8 supporters claim), it has nothing to do with the constitutionality of the law itself. Sexual abusers of children can still get married and have children. So in the end, "does the state have the power to deny marriage to people because of their gender?" becomes the issue. I think the answer is pretty simple, and from reading the transcripts, I think the answer should be clear to just about anyone.

Our ancesters might have been peaceful and empathetic!

2009-10-03T10:06:00.002-05:00

Our Kinder, Gentler Ancestors
Ardi casts doubt on the notion that we have an innate killer instinct
(wall street journal online)

The skeleton of Ardipithecus ramidus, an ancient fossil dubbed "Ardi," is radically changing our ideas about mankind's origins. Kent State University's C. Owen Lovejoy says Ardi shows our ancestors were more like us and less like chimps

Pretty interesting. So perhaps there is hope for the future of the human race?
I definitely feel uncomfortable with the low level of empathy I have sometimes.

If these clues actually do reveal something close to the truth (such that warfare doesn't have a history past the agricultural revolution), I wonder what that reveals about the nature of warfare? Was it created by culture? Beliefs? I wonder.

Haha, how awful!

2009-09-11T22:25:00.002-05:00

Video prompts ACORN firings

Mmm, and supposedly they will be getting billions of dollars under Obama's stimulus package. Scandalous!

From the Baltimore Sun:

Two staff members of the Baltimore office of ACORN were fired Thursday after they were captured on hidden camera appearing to give advice on evading tax laws to a man and woman posing as a pimp and a prostitute.

The video depicts a man and a scantily dressed female partner visiting the Charles Village office of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, where they appear to ask two employees about how to shield their work from state and federal tax requirements. The supposed pimp also appears to ask the employees how to conceal underage girls from El Salvador brought into the country illegally to work for him.

"If they don't have Social Security numbers, you don't have to worry about them," the employee says.

Giles, a 20-year-old student, told FOX News host Glenn Beck that she came up with the idea for the video and funded the project herself. "I saw them as a thug organization getting my tax dollars," Giles told Beck, who said he first viewed the video Saturday.

The ACORN employees appear to show no hesitation in helping Giles and O'Keefe, a 25-year-old filmmaker. In the video, O'Keefe introduces himself as a Johns Hopkins graduate student with aspirations of running for Congress. He and Giles describe their work as an "off-the-books" business catering to "male clients" several times before making clear that they are discussing prostitution.

One employee appears to discuss ways that the pair might justify the business ("Let's see - independent artists, you could be that," she says), and the other tells them to "train" their prostitutes to "keep their mouth shut." The four extensively discuss the issue of underage foreigners living in a home that Giles says she is trying to buy.

In telling the pair about a coming conference, which was held in August, the employees also encourage them to purchase a membership to ACORN.

Alan Turing part II

2009-09-11T21:28:00.002-05:00

Some more info about the death of Alan Turing and other gay men under the hands of an anti-gay British government.

I can't believe after witnessing the horrors of war, especially in places such as Nazi Death camps, governments of the Allied forces can do this kind of stuff.

From the BBC:

Many gay men were "treated" in the same way as Alan Turing - given powerful drugs or electric shocks to "cure" them of their homosexuality.

Turing - a wartime hero who helped break the Enigma code - killed himself in 1954.

In 1962, Army captain Billy Clegg-Hill died during medically-supervised "aversion therapy", prescribed by a judge following his arrest for homosexual offences.

Like Alan Turing, Mr Clegg-Hill was given the choice of prison or "therapy" conducted by doctors who believed homosexuality was a treatable disease.

Mr Clegg-Hill's sister, Alison Braithwaite, told the BBC: "Billy's death was covered up by the Army - at the time his death certificate said he died of natural causes."

It was only in 1996 a BBC documentary uncovered the real reason for his death.

It emerged the treatment, at the Netley military hospital in Hampshire, consisted of showing Mr Clegg-Hill pictures of naked men and then injecting him with the vomit-inducing drug apomorphine.

"The idea was to make him associate naked men with being sick. It was crude and totally ineffective," said Ms Braithwaite.

"Unfortunately, the doctors neglected to give him any fluids, and he died of a stroke brought on by dehydration."

Fishing! in Okutama

2009-08-26T10:27:00.005-05:00

Fished for the first time in my adult life - I was rollin' in Nijimasu and Yamame!

Online Sunshine indeed!

2009-08-26T10:24:00.002-05:00

Ah Florida, I didn't know you were this conservative!

The 2009 Florida Statutes

Title VI
CIVIL PRACTICE AND PROCEDURE

Chapter 63
ADOPTION

View Entire Chapter

63.042 Who may be adopted; who may adopt.--

(1) Any person, a minor or an adult, may be adopted.

(2) The following persons may adopt:

(a) A husband and wife jointly;

(b) An unmarried adult; or

(c) A married person without the other spouse joining as a petitioner, if the person to be adopted is not his or her spouse, and if:

1. The other spouse is a parent of the person to be adopted and consents to the adoption; or

2. The failure of the other spouse to join in the petition or to consent to the adoption is excused by the court for good cause shown or in the best interest of the child.

(3) No person eligible to adopt under this statute may adopt if that person is a homosexual.

(4) No person eligible under this section shall be prohibited from adopting solely because such person possesses a physical disability or handicap, unless it is determined by the court or adoption entity that such disability or handicap renders such person incapable of serving as an effective parent.

Wow!

Richard Dawkins joins calls for apology for gay mathematician Alan Turing

2009-08-19T11:48:00.002-05:00

Professor Richard Dawkins has joined the calls for the government to apologise to Alan Turing who committed suicide after being jailed for homosexuality.

A campaign is underway to recognise the achievements of the gay mathematician, who famously invented the Turing machine and cracked the German Enigma code during World War Two, but killed himself in 1954 after being convicted of having a sexual relationship with another man.

People can be so cruel sometimes.

From wikipedia:

In January 1952 Turing picked up the 19-year-old Arnold Murray outside a cinema in Manchester. After a lunch date, Turing invited Murray to spend the weekend with him at his house, an invitation which Murray accepted although he did not show up. The pair met again in Manchester the following Monday, when Murray agreed to accompany Turing to the latter's house. A few weeks later Murray visited Turing's house again, and apparently spent the night there.[31]

After Murray helped an accomplice to break into his house, Turing reported the crime to the police. During the investigation Turing acknowledged a sexual relationship with Murray. Homosexual acts were illegal in the United Kingdom at that time,[5] and so both were charged with gross indecency under Section 11 of the Criminal Law Amendment Act 1885, the same crime that Oscar Wilde had been convicted of more than fifty years earlier.[32]

Turing was given a choice between imprisonment or probation conditional on his agreement to undergo hormonal treatment designed to reduce libido. He accepted chemical castration via estrogen hormone injections,[33] which lasted for a year. Turing's conviction led to the removal of his security clearance, and barred him from continuing with his cryptographic consultancy for GCHQ. At the time, there was acute public anxiety about spies and homosexual entrapment by Soviet agents, possibly due to the recent exposure of the first two members of the Cambridge Five, Guy Burgess and Donald Maclean, as KGB double agents. Turing was never accused of espionage but, as with all who had worked at Bletchley Park, was prevented from discussing his war work.

8 femmes

2009-08-19T08:49:00.002-05:00

I can't get this out of my head... god Emmanuelle Béart is adorable!

Oh and this.
Ozon is a genius. Sagnier too... ah!

Sexy Ninja Request!

2009-08-10T09:14:00.003-05:00

I asked my friend Ike to draw me a sexy under-dressed ninja.
And what a good friend he is! :D

Awesome design and hot muscles.

Netflix Policies

2009-08-06T07:17:00.002-05:00

Wow!

From TechCrunch:

Ever since Netflix’s awesome vacation policy was revealed to the public (basically, there is no policy, it’s take the time you think you need), the company’s work policies have been of interest to people. A new 128-page presentation called “Reference Guide on our Freedom & Responsibility Culture” was recently sent around the company, and then put on SlideShare, where the blog Hacking Netflix found it.

The presentation, which you can see for yourself below, is as interesting as any 128-page document can be. If you read it over, about half-way through, you’ll probably start wishing you worked for Netflix. This was meant to be an internal document for employees to read, but it’s also one hell of a recruitment pitch.

Early on, a lot of it deals with workplace efficiency, and not being afraid to let someone go if they’re not doing their job. The idea is that if someone just wants to do mediocre works, that’s fine, they’ll get a nice severance package. It extends this into an emphasis on effectiveness over effort — the company doesn’t want to necessarily reward people who stay late versus those who don’t, but get the same amount of work done. It then turns to some internal policies including management best practices. And then to retention practices — making sure the company pays the top people a high enough salary that they’ll never want to leave.

There’s a big emphasis within the company on salary, rather than stock options and bonuses. The thought is that you should give the employees as much money as possible up front and let them decide what to do with it.

This is all pretty interesting stuff for a fairly large, publicly-traded company. The emphasis is obviously not to act like other big companies do. Given Netflix’s recent successes, it would seem that the strategy is working. And yes, there is stuff in there about the vacation policy.

Release of two U.S. journalists imprisoned by North Korea

2009-08-05T09:34:00.002-05:00

Wow. I didn't expect this to be resolved so quickly.
I guess being a butt and throwing temper tantrums work!

I'm so glad they were released.
I wonder if the North Korean prisoners in the camps will ever be freed...

Once

2009-07-22T02:51:00.002-05:00

I saw Once at a movie theater when it came out a few years ago. I usually dislike musicals very much since I usually feel completely distant from whatever is going on, but this totally stole my heart away. It was just plain charming, simple as that. It's a down to earth, yet extremely personal piece that I think can be enjoyed by anyone. I was reminded of this movie today and I just had to tell everyone to go see it. :)

Guestbook

2009-07-20T08:03:00.002-05:00

My friend said I should have a guestbook.
I say, "let there be a guestbook!".
All thoughts welcome, and no need to be polite.

Bayard Rustin

2009-07-17T06:30:00.002-05:00

I just found out about Bayard Rustin, a black homosexual civil rights leader from back in the days of MLK jr.

"Bayard Rustin (March 17, 1912 – August 24, 1987) was an American civil rights activist, important largely behind the scenes in the civil rights movement of the 1960s and earlier, and the main organizer of the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom [1]. He counseled Martin Luther King, Jr. on the techniques of nonviolent resistance. For much of his career, Rustin lived in New York City's Chelsea neighborhood, [2] in the union-funded Penn South complex, from 1978 with his partner Walter Naegle. He became an advocate on behalf of gay and lesbian causes in the latter part of his career; however, his homosexuality was the reason for attacks from many governmental as well as interest groups."

Civil Rights is a strange topic about power and social control. The main argument is "if we let these people have the same rights as the majority, the whole of society will go on a downward spiral towards everlasting doom". Even for Swiss women, voting rights for women came only recently:

"The Swiss referendum on women's suffrage was held on 1 February 1959. The majority of Switzerland's men voted no, however in some cantons the vote was given to women.[18] Switzerland was the last Western democracies (however, women could not vote in Liechtenstein until 1984) to allow women to vote. Women did not gain the right to vote in federal elections until 1973."

Many use history as evidence that things should be a certain way, since it was always that way. It must be pretty frightening to change things when you might lose a special standing within society by granting other people the same chances to rise up and become a competitor. Change can be seen as thrilling, but usually when there is a visible chance that you might profit in some way. It can be easy to say marriage should be between a man and a woman since that's the way things were for thousands of years, but I doubt many women would bring up their lack of property rights that existed for thousands of years, or anyone about slavery, an institution so old its origins are unknown.

Feminism started as an opposition of a two-gender power system, "man" or "not a man", and actually has nothing to do with being a woman. Black Civil Rights, though started because of historical inequalities, in essence has nothing to do with history. It is about a minority being legally oppressed by a majority, where no reasons are necessary for the movement to exist other than "equality does not exist at the moment between the two parties". In the end, it is the same.
There are many minority peoples, ideas, identities, and habits in this world. Things can be silenced for thousands of years. However, in the end it will not matter, since no matter how hard anyone tries, one group cannot hold power over another for all of eternity.

Things are constantly changing, whether it be fast or slow.

Onibox, draft

2009-07-14T09:18:00.005-05:00

Recently I have been thinking about what "onibox" means to me now.

Before it used to be about a wild energy contained within a rigid structure, a strong image of redness. Recently (perhaps it is my age), the form of this energy has changed, more so into a blueish tint. A sense of duality has always been prevalent in my philosophy, but I recently realized that it's a theme that has been vividly discussed since the dawn of time.

I recently read an interesting article about Christian Marriage by Laura Garcia. Since same sex marriage is a big topic these days, it was nice to read a comprehensive, almost "fresh" writing that focuses on the male/female pairing without resorting to the usual "because I think so" arguments I see. I never really understood the vehement opposition to gay marriage, but now I'm starting to see where this idea is coming from. I'm not sure I quite agree, but it's definitely an important insight. I have a feeling the argument over marriage is a very complex one, where the answer won't be apparent for hundreds of years. It all leads to the core of society. Looking at the amount of overpopulation that is possible, the future structure of society is a fascinating topic. I need to find some nice books on it!

Election in Japan

2009-07-12T07:57:00.002-05:00

Wow, a political group called Komeito, made by a religious cult leader has almost the same number of votes as Japan's Jimintou (you can equate them to the US's Republican Party).

I didn't know too much about Sokka Gakkai and Komeito, so I did a bit of searching. I found an interesting and somewhat frightening article about the history of the Soka Gakkai cult and about how religion is treated under the Japanese government since WW2.

The Power of Soka Gakkai

Artist Colony

2009-07-11T01:31:00.003-05:00

My friend James did the initial design doc and worked as a co-designer for a new casual PC game called Artist Colony, which got an awesome review at Gamezebo. I love these sim games... hopefully I won't get addicted. I wonder if I can use a Japanese credit card on a US site. I will check tomorrow. :)

Why We Don't Want a Nuclear-Free World

2009-07-10T22:53:00.003-05:00

Why We Don't Want a Nuclear-Free World from the Wall Street Journal

A basic but interesting article.
It's sad... I think as long as the police exist, wars will exist.

Bah, libertarians are iffy too.

2009-07-10T10:30:00.002-05:00

Hawaii Gay Menace Spurs Bad Marital Law: Ann Woolner

“The flames of hedonism, the flames of narcissism, the flames of self-centered morality are licking at the very foundations of our society,” warned Bob Barr, then a Republican congressman from Georgia and a chief sponsor of the bill (DOMA).

Now the tide is turning. Barr himself made a complete about-face last year to win the Libertarian Party’s nomination for president.

The Defense of Marriage Act “has been used as a hammer on individuals seeking to enter this country and who are in this country to deny them rights they ought to have,” Barr told the libertarians. “I promise you now, I will work to repeal that provision of law.”

The Defense of Marriage Act, as Barr himself wrote this year, “reflects one-way federalism.” It protects state autonomy if the state opposes gay marriage. But for those that allow it, the law imposes Congress’s interpretation on what had always been a state matter.

I wonder what sort of life changing experience he had.

Hayden Planetarium

2009-07-03T22:21:00.004-05:00

One thing I miss a lot about NY is the Hayden Planetarium.
Those who haven't visited before, I highly recommend it.

Starting July 4th, they'll have a new show - Journey to the Stars.

This show, three years in the making, was written by Louise A. Gikow, a former writer for “Sesame Street,” among many other things, as well as a co-writer of the Hayden’s previous space production, “Cosmic Collisions.” It was directed by the planetarium’s director of astrovisualization, Carter Emmart, who studied geophysics before going into star shows. Robert Miller, a veteran composer for films and commercials, wrote the score.

“Journey” was overseen by Mordecai-Mark Mac Low and Ben Oppenheimer, both astronomers at the museum, who say their goal was to get people to look at the stars in a new way. To that end they had a lot of resources to draw on, including the California Academy of Sciences; the Texas Advanced Computing Center at the University of Texas, Austin; and NASA’s heliophysics division, which maintains a fleet of spacecraft watching the Sun and nearby space for nasty space weather that could affect the Earth.

Interesting origin of "Till Death Do Us Part"

2009-07-03T12:26:00.003-05:00

Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.

This is from the Book of Ruth, in the Old Testament.

I was just reading a bunch of articles about the Bible in US News and World Report, and of course, all news reading sessions lead to a plethora of wikipedia readings, and there I found a pretty interesting piece of information.

The above quote is the supposedly the source of "till death do us part" said during marriage ceremonies.

What's interesting, is that it is said from one woman to another woman.

I did a little bit of searching and I came across an interesting article that mentions that this can possibly be a same-sex bonding that can be likened to a biblical marriage based on love (not about property and bloodlines).

It looks to me that it can be interpreted in many ways, but how funky is that?

Sanford and narcissistic personality disorder

2009-06-30T22:40:00.002-05:00

I think that a leader who has influence over something bigger than themselves, if they are excellent at what they do, should be given a little bit of leeway by the public when it comes to finances or "morals". Forgiveness is underrated - the benefit of turning a blind eye is sometimes ignored in a situation.

On that note, I think Mark Sanford is a pretty funny guy, and is a possible candidate as someone who shouldn't be given leeway by the public.
I have no idea how he's doing as South Carolina governor, so I don't have any strong feelings about what happens to his political career. However, I do think he has a strong case of narcissistic personality disorder. Just reading quotes from him makes me wonder if he has any empathy for others at all. And he feels a bit loony.

“This was a whole lot more than a simple affair. That it's a love story – a forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day.”
“It was wonderful," he said. "Something that I’ve never been able to put my hands on was there. I remember there was an older couple sitting to our right, and I remember them watching us, in the way that we interacted. They could see a spark, or, I don’t know what you’d call it, but there was something there.”

Is this something you say to the press?

About an hour after Jenny Sanford talked of her pain and feelings of betrayal, her husband brushed aside any suggestion he might immediately resign, citing the Bible and the story of King David — who continued to lead after sleeping with another man's wife, Bathsheba, having the husband slain, then marrying the widow.

"What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily — fell in very, very significant ways, but then picked up the pieces and built from there," Sanford told members of his cabinet in a session called so he could apologize to them in person and tell them the business of government must continue.

Sanford also told The A.P. that he believed Ms. Chapur was his soul mate, but that he was trying to fall back in love with his wife.

Isn't that weird? He sounds crazy to me.

”Debunking Canadian health care myths”

2009-06-27T12:20:00.002-05:00

From the Denver Post:
Debunking Canadian health care myths

I don't think I can ever stand going back to using US health insurance.
It took me a few months since I moved here to Japan before I got used to going to the doctor to get a checkup. In the US, even the flu won't get me to the doctor.

One of the craziest experiences I had here was experiencing setai / acupuncture.
My back problem that was bothering me for years (and US doctors didn't know what was wrong, x rays didn't show anything, etc etc) was fixed in 4 minuted by an acupuncture doctor in my karate class and 1 visit to a setai doctor. How cool is that?

Do-it-yourself fresh tofu

2009-06-26T20:44:00.002-05:00

My friend's boyfriend works at a tofu shop, and I must say his tofu was extremely awesome. Store bought is rather un-delicious, except for a brand here and there, which brings me to an awesome article I came across on BoingBoing: Do-it-yourself fresh tofu. This "nigari" they mention sounds pretty wonderful too.

Flag

2009-06-26T12:06:00.002-05:00

I'm always wandering around, looking for my home.

Supreme Court strip search case

2009-06-25T12:28:00.002-05:00

Whew.
If she really wanted to hide something, I think they would have had to go one step further than they did to find it.

If done right...

2009-06-25T04:02:00.004-05:00

I think no matter the subject, if done right, will be freakalicious.

- Action game, boo! (I can't even beat one level in Mario)
- Hyper sexualized video game heroine, bleh!
- Sad marketing catering to the lowest common denominator, aka booth babes, ><;!

But seriously, this is hot.
Bayonetta. E3. Boothbabe.

(and I actually watched the trailer more than once!)

Project Natal

2009-06-11T01:29:00.002-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_txF7iETX0
The holodeck isn't too far off! Is this the solution for overcrowding?

Black Sigil is Out!

2009-06-09T22:04:00.003-05:00

It's been three years since I had contact with Black Sigil. I can't believe it's out after all these years! :)
Many thanks to Pierre, Jan, Vincent, Nami, Linman, Jon, Travis, Elena, and Eunice.
A huge thanks to Graffiti, and a giant thanks to all you super patient, passionate fans. People like Hello Hello really put a giant smile to my face... so thank you!

The gaming world changed a lot in the past 9 years.
With online stores for basically all console systems, Steam, Apple Store, etc - it has really opened up the market for so many creative people out there.
Consoles games are bigger than ever, requiring hundreds of employees. Production times are insanely short or insanely long. Is it easier to make games now? Or harder? There are so many options out there for creators that it's hard to have a crisp, vivid idea of how to go about things. Kojima, Blow, Suda, Itoi... they're all in gaming one way or another, but are in such different environments that it's hard to say they do they same thing.

A lot of games blow my mind these days. I'm scared to play games like Fallout 3 and WoW since I know I will lose a year (or two) of my life. Monster Hunter is a huge hit here in Japan, and people tell me they already put in 600 hours! Crazy.:)
However, a game I actually did play this year and I strongly recommend is Mother 3. It was so good I actually cried in the end. I hope I can play more games like this - amazing story, great characters, zany charm, and a strong yet simple game system.

Anyway, thanks to everyone. I will never forget all the support!

2009-05-02T09:13:00.003-05:00

Finally getting some real time to work on my own stuff. It looks like my current job is influencing my personal art a lot!

What's going on with the Supreme Court?

2009-04-22T00:01:00.003-05:00

Justices' Takes on Strip Search Vary
Am I the only one who finds the justices' comments kind of creepy?
I guess people are just people, after all.

Black Sigil

2009-02-27T09:30:00.002-05:00

There has been a lot of coverage recently for Black Sigil...
A big thank you for everyone supporting the game!

Black Sigil was certainly an incredible (both wonderful and gut wrenching) experience.
I really hope people will enjoy playing the game, because truly, the players are what
the game was made for! :)

Proposition 8 Backers

2009-01-17T06:38:00.003-05:00

"Proposition 8 changed the California state constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage. These are the people who donated in order to pass it."

http://www.eightmaps.com/

Interesting stuff.
I believe that no matter what your beliefs and morals are, I think there is a limit to what should be made into law. What's with everyone's desire to control everybody these days (using the government!)? Relax and enjoy life, and let others do so too!

Rabbit

2007-06-27T08:09:00.000-05:00

An awesome video by Run Wrake ( http://www.runwrake.com ).
RABBIT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4Yf-7Z_6PE

And while I didn't enjoy this one as much as the one above, was pretty emotional.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zl6hNj1uOkY&NR=1

2007-06-10T07:51:00.000-05:00

There is a verse from the Bible that is sometimes read or recited during rites of passage like this. Corinthians 13:11: “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things.”

I bring this up because there’s often an assumption on days like today that growing up is purely a function of age; that becoming an adult is an inevitable progression that can be measured by a series of milestones – college graduation or your first job or the first time you throw a party that actually has food too.

And yet, maturity does not come from any one occasion – it emerges as a quality of character. Because the fact is, I know a whole lot of thirty and forty and fifty year olds who have not yet put away childish things – who continually struggle to rise above the selfish or the petty or the small.

We see this reflected in our country today.

We see it in a politics that’s become more concerned about who’s up and who’s down than who’s working to solve the real challenges facing our generation; a politics where debates over war and peace are reduced to 60-second soundbites and 30-second attack ads.

We see it in a media culture that sensationalizes the trivial and trivializes the profound – in a 24-hour news network bonanza that never fails to keep us posted on how many days Paris Hilton will spend in jail but often fails to update us on the continuing genocide in Darfur or the recovery effort in New Orleans or the poverty that plagues too many American streets.

And as we’re fed this steady diet of cynicism, it’s easy to start buying into it and put off hard decisions. We become tempted to turn inward, suspicious that change is really possible, doubtful that one person really can make a difference.

That’s where the true test of growing up occurs. That’s where you come in...

No matter where you go from here – whether it’s into public service or the business world; whether it’s law school or medical school; whether you become scientists or artists or entertainers – you will face a choice. Do you want to be passive observers of the way world is or active citizens in shaping the way the world ought to be? In both your own life and the life of your country, will you strive to put away childish things?

It is a constant struggle, this quest for maturity, and as my wife will certainly tell you, I haven’t always been on the winning side in my own life. But through my own tests and failings, I have learned a few lessons here and there about growing up, and there’s three I’d like to leave you with today.

The first lesson came during my first year in college.

Back then I had a tendency, in my mother’s words, to act a bit casual about my future. I rebelled, angry in the way that many young men in general, and young black men in particular, are angry, thinking that responsibility and hard work were old-fashioned conventions that didn’t apply to me. I partied a little too much and studied just enough to get by.

And once, after a particularly long night of partying, we had spilled a little too much beer, broke a few too many bottles, and trashed a little too much of the dorm. And the next day, the mess was so bad that when one of the cleaning ladies saw it, she began to tear up.

And when a girlfriend of mine heard about this, she said to me, “That woman could’ve been my grandmother, Barack. She spent her days cleaning up after somebody else’s mess.”

Which drove home for me the first lesson of growing up:

The world doesn’t just revolve around you.

There’s a lot of talk in this country about the federal deficit. But I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit – the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes; to see the world through those who are different from us – the child who’s hungry, the laid-off steelworker, the immigrant woman cleaning your dorm room.

As you go on in life, cultivating this quality of empathy will become harder, not easier. There’s no community service requirement in the real world; no one forcing you to care. You’ll be free to live in neighborhoods with people who are exactly like yourself, and send your kids to the same schools, and narrow your concerns to what’s going in your own little circle.

Not only that – we live in a culture that discourages empathy. A culture that too often tells us our principle goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous, safe, and entertained. A culture where those in power too often encourage these selfish impulses.

They will tell you that the Americans who sleep in the streets and beg for food got there because they’re all lazy or weak of spirit. That the inner-city children who are trapped in dilapidated schools can’t learn and won’t learn and so we should just give up on them entirely. That the innocent people being slaughtered and expelled from their homes half a world away are somebody else’s problem to take care of.

I hope you don’t listen to this. I hope you choose to broaden, and not contract, your ambit of concern. Not because you have an obligation to those who are less fortunate, although you do have that obligation. Not because you have a debt to all of those who helped you get to where you are, although you do have that debt.

It’s because you have an obligation to yourself. Because our individual salvation depends on collective salvation. And because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential – and become full-grown.

The second lesson I learned after college, when I had this crazy idea that I wanted to be a community organizer and work in low-income neighborhoods.

My mother and grandparents thought I should go to law school. My friends had applied for jobs on Wall Street. But I went ahead and wrote letters to every organization in the country that I could think of. And finally, this small group of churches on the south side of Chicago wrote back and gave me a job organizing neighborhoods devastated by steel-plant closings in the early 80s.

The churches didn’t have much money – so they offered me a grand sum of $12,000 a year plus $1,000 to buy a car. And I got ready to move to Chicago – a place I had never been and where I didn’t know a living soul.

Even people who didn’t know me were skeptical of my decision. I remember having a conversation with an older man I had met before I arrived in Chicago. I told him about my plans, and he looked at me and said, “Let me tell something. You look like a nice clean-cut young man, and you’ve got a nice voice. So let me give you a piece of advice – forget this community organizing business. You can’t change the world, and people won’t appreciate you trying. What you should do is go into television broadcasting. I’m telling you, you’ve got a future.”

I could’ve taken my mother’s advice and I could’ve taken my grandparents advice. I could’ve taken the path my friends traveled. And objectively speaking, that older man had a point about the TV thing.

But I knew there was something in me that wanted to try for something bigger.

So the second lesson is this: Challenge yourself. Take some risks in your life.

This isn’t easy. In a few minutes, you can take your diploma, walk off this stage, and go chasing after the big house and the large salary and the nice suits and all the other things that our money culture says you should buy.

But I hope you don’t. Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled.

So don’t let people talk you into doing what’s easy or comfortable. Listen to what’s inside of you and decide what it is that you care about so much that you’re willing to risk it all.

The third lesson is one that I learned once I got to Chicago.

I had spent weeks organizing our very first community meeting around the issue of gang violence. We invited the police; we made phone calls, went to churches, and passed out flyers.

I had been warned of the turf battles and bad politics between certain community leaders, but I ignored them, confident that I knew what I was doing.

The night of the meeting we arranged rows and rows of chairs in anticipation of the crowd. And we waited. And we waited. And finally, a group of older people walk in to the hall. And they sit down. And this little old lady raises her hand and asks, “Is this where the bingo game is?”

Thirteen people showed up that night. The police never came. And the meeting was a complete disaster.

Later, the volunteers I worked with told me they were quitting – that they had been doing this for two years and had nothing to show for it.

I was tired too. But at that point, I looked outside and saw some young boys playing in a vacant lot across the street, tossing stones at boarded-up apartment building. And I turned to the volunteers, and I asked them, “Before you quit, I want you to answer one question. What’s gonna happen to those boys? Who will fight for them if not us? Who will give them a fair shot if we leave?”

And at that moment, we were all reminded of a third lesson in growing up:

Persevere.

Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.

After my little speech that day, one by one, the volunteers decided not to quit. We went back to those neighborhoods, and we kept at it, sustaining ourselves with the small victories. Eventually, over time, a community changed. And so had we.

Cultivating empathy, challenging yourself, persevering in the face of adversity – these are qualities that dare us to put away childish things. They are qualities that help us grow.

They are qualities that one graduate today knows especially well.

Richard Komi was born thousands of miles from here in Southern Nigeria. He’d probably still be there today, if he hadn’t been forced to flee when his tribe came under attack. Eventually, he made it to the United States, worked his way through factories and retail jobs, and came here to SNHU, to complete the education he began in Africa. And now, with a wife and kids and lots of responsibility, he’s even taking the time to give back to his new country by volunteering on this campaign.

Richard Komi may be graduating today, but it’s clear that he grew up a long time ago. We celebrate with him because his journey is a testament to the powerful idea that in the face of impossible odds, ordinary people can do extraordinary things.

At a time when America finds itself at a crossroads, facing challenges we haven’t seen in decades, we need to hold on to this idea more than ever.

A lot is riding on the decisions that are made and the leadership that is provided by this generation. We are counting on you to help fix a health care system that’s leaving too many Americans sick or bankrupt or both. We are counting on you to bring this planet back from the brink by solving this crisis of global climate change. We are counting on you to help stop a genocide in Darfur that’s taking the lives of innocents as we speak here today. And we’re counting on you to restore the image of America around the world that has led so many like Richard Komi to find liberty, and opportunity, and hope on our doorstep.

There are some who are betting against you – who say that you don’t pay attention, that you don’t show up to vote, that you’re too concerned with your own lives and your own problems.

Well that’s not what I believe and it’s not what I’ve seen. Instead I’ve seen rallies filled with crowds that stretch far into the horizon; thousands upon thousands signing up to organize online; scores who are coming to the very first political event of their lifetime. And just a few hours before this commencement, I got the opportunity to send off hundreds of people who have chosen to take time out of their busy lives and spend an entire Saturday knocking on doors here in New Hampshire. Because they’re not content to sit back and watch anymore. Because they believe they can help this country grow.

And whenever the doubt creeps in and I find myself wondering if change is really possible, I end up thinking about the young Americans – teenagers and college kids not much older than you – who watched the Civil Rights Movement unfold before them on television sets all across the country.

I imagine that they would’ve seen the marchers and heard the speeches, but they also probably saw the dogs and the fire hoses, or the footage of innocent people being beaten within an inch of their lives; or heard the news the day those four little girls died when someone threw a bomb into their church.

Instinctively, they knew that it was safer and smarter to stay at home; to watch the movement from afar. But they also understood that these people in Georgia and Alabama and Mississippi were their brothers and sisters; that what was happening was wrong; and that they had an obligation to make it right. When the buses pulled up for a Freedom Ride down South, they got on. They took a risk. And they changed the world.

Now it’s your turn. You will be tested by the challenges of this new century, and at times you will fail. But know that you have it within your power to try. That generations who have come before you faced these same fears and uncertainties in their own time. And that if we’re willing to shoulder each other’s burdens, to take great risks, and to persevere through trial, America will continue its journey towards that distant horizon, and a better day.

-Barack Obama

Thought it was a nice read.

Life and Books

2007-06-09T16:12:00.000-05:00

For some reason, all my angst against society and feelings of having to prove myself (which I have felt for the past eight years) mysteriously disappeared over the past year, so I've been producing less art and consuming more books. Not sure if that's a bad or good thing, but I haven't felt this comfortable in years (apathetic? hah hah). I guess I started feeling like commercial art is not where I want to go at all. What should I do with myself? Who knows!

So I've been drifting through several Dostoevskys... finished "Crime and Punishment" and "the Brothers Karamosov", which were AMAZING reads, and I'm a few pages in into "the Idiot". Each page makes my mind spark with new thoughts and squirm with pleasurable "clever, Dosty! >:)" moments. I HIGHLY recommend it to every human being on the planet.

Books piling up on my "read next" corner of my desk:

-NASB Study Bible, by you-know-who
Never really read the bible back to back, but during a trip last year I eyed through the New Testament found in my hotel room. Was an awesome read, so got hungry for more. Also pretty much everyone I knew till now was atheist (or well, coming from a place where Christianity doesn't really exist :P), but recently I met a few cool peoples who were people of the Book, so I thought it was good timing to delve into it.

- A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, by Dave Eggers
Recommended by my friend Eunice. I know nothing about it, but the title is so arrogant... how can you not feel challenged?

- The Virtue of Selfishness, by Ayn Rand
I kept away from her texts a long time, though I used to be into her philosophies during High School. Thought I would start with a small book of hers.

- The Communist Manifesto, by Karl Marx
I read it a long time ago, but want to read it again since things keep coming up. I feel that I hear a lot of arguments about communism, but not many REALLY knows about it (including myself), only hears about it from another person or show and has a strong "given" opinion... know what I mean?

- The Book of Mormon, by ???
HUGE wave of Mormonism spreading through the US. Going to check it out after the big B.

- Candide, by Voltaire
Recommended and given as a gift by my friend Steve. Thanks! :D

- the Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
This book was continuously mentioned in Haruki Murakami 's "Norwegian Wood" (also an incredible book... I would recommend it to anyone who is losing track of who they are and what they want to do in this world, and forgetting what happiness is), so picking it up again since the last time I read it was in high school. :P

- some book a friend lent me but is at the office and I forgot the name of. >< I think "Man Alive" (too lazy to check).

So that's a bunch to get through. Back to "the Idiot"!

Ortus

2007-05-07T22:50:00.000-05:00

My thesis collaboration, "Ortus", was included in the gallery of www.3dm3.com 's digital magazine,
"CG Chosen Magazine No.2 | Fantasy issue" .
Very cool being a part of such a beautiful book. Some really awesome work is displayed there! :)
It was nice seeing my work revived again, I'm really proud of it. Hopefully it'll spark off someone's imagination when they see it.

Hello Boys and Girls, and everything in-between :D

2007-04-15T16:28:00.000-05:00

Life lesson: moving to another country is a big ordeal.

Alright, I guess Japan won't be seeing me in May. I hope they'll be missing me.

Several issues:
- VISA and citizenship.
- Sadly I do not have a driver's liscense yet and I want to get one before I leave. I know my incredible desire to drive around in a ferrari will force my lazy butt to study and line up at a government office in New York City (nightmare). Too bad my "love of cars" is non-existant. :D
- I'm going to be moving in with my gf there, but she is busy as @@@@, and only free to move and find apartments and stuff only in August or December. The wonderful standard of 2 years minimum lease contracts is not helping, otherwise I would just get a crack in the butt Tokyo apartment for a year till she's free. :(
- Mother Earth decided to bring hell on earth this summer to Japan, where they issued a heat warning already. That's 95 - 105 degrees with almost 100% humidy folks. Which totally bats August into the trash for me... I don't want to suffer a heat stroke carrying a chair home.

So I guess I'll be staying in the US for a bit!

Getting ready for my move.

2007-02-01T22:58:00.000-05:00

I've had a Japanese blog on mixi for a year or two, but since I'll be moving to Japan later this year, I decided to start an English blog for my friends here in the states. Yay!
Considering I barely write in English anymore except for IMs and emails, maybe living in Japan will actually improve my English? :P Anyway I'll be posting the what's ups and latest WIPs and random ramblings every once in a while, so check in bi-monthly for all the up-to-date excitement. Wheee.